Serendipity By Day, Indifferent By Night

Obviously I was horribly hungover. My hangovers are simply worse than anyone else’s. That or I’m weaker than everyone else. I prefer the first explanation. I’ve never seen anyone get afflicted as much as I. Anyway, the point is there was a long day ahead. Our first plan of action was to drive until lunchtime, where we stopped near a unique temple in Cambodia and some stupors. The temple was unique because all Buddhist temples usually face east but this one faces west, or some variation of that. Philosophically it has four facings and faces all directions at once but whatever.

I neglected to mention that the temple and stupors were on a hill, up a lot of steps. Thankfully I didn’t neglect to mention I was hungover so you can imagine the torture of walking up these steps in the vociferous heat. I was covered in bodily liquids, I couldn’t tell if it was sweat, tears, or alcohol anymore, in the end it was a devilish cocktail of the three. I named it the Devil’s Threeway. It’s copywrited for when I start my own club so don’t even think about it.

At the peak of the hill was a newly built stupor, made completely of white marble. It was the Minas Tirith of stupors. Even if Minas Tirith is made of rock. Even in my state I was able to appreciate the magnificence of it. Our guide told us it is apparently to hold the ashes of Guatama Buddha, he didn’t seem so sure though. It’s definitely bullshit. After taking some photos and trying Tamarind with some weird sauce, it was absolutely awful, we got back in the bus and headed for Sihanoukville and serendipity.

We arrived just after 6pm at Mick and Craig’s guesthouse, our home for the next three nights. We’d decided to hop off in Sihanoukville as there is the island of Koh Rong which one of Christina’s friends recommended to us. From the way it was described from reviews it seemed like something of a paradise. A beautiful island not too ruined by mass tourists yet. Hopping off left us five nights to play with so we decided to spend three in Sihanoukville and two in Koh Rong.

For our first night we had our first taste of Serendipity beach. You couldn’t see that much in the dark but it reminded me of a beach I once went to in Puerto Rico when I was maybe eleven. Across the top of the beach there were bars and restaurants lined up, then there were chairs spread out halfway across the beach with tables. I ordered a burger because it was relatively cheap and I was feeling something unhealthy. We shared a couple of beer towers between the table but after my food and a couple of drinks all I wanted to do was sleep for a week so I went to bed.

With our last day on Serendipity before Koh Rong we decided to just chill the F out. We’d not been in a place as visually stunning yet and we’d had some hard travelling so a day of recharging sounded nice. We headed out around 12pm after Christina had found accommodation for us on the island. We explored most of the beach and found a nice little bar that was out of the way. We ended up sitting there for a fair few hours eating, drinking beer, getting pedicures, massages, and having a lovely chat with an elderly English couple.

On the evening we went out with the rest of the group again, after a few games of pool of course. Or should I say Billiards! It was actually Billiards. We went to a bar near to where we went during the day but further down the beach. It was owned a pleasant but slightly awkward scouse man. I had a fish steak and it was so good. Even now over a month later it’s still one of the best meals I’ve had, and that’s a massive compliment. The night continued with more beers before I had my first taste of a Danish cigarette. It was tightly packed and pretty fucking thick. It wiped me out so I went back to bed after, it was a late 11.30 pm.

It seems early but Sihanoukville is really touristy and especially on Serendipity Beach quite the party town. That’s not really my scene if I’m honest. I just prefer drinking and chatting with my mates. Not having to shout to each other in a club and dancing awkwardly to songs I don’t like. If it’s a club that plays my sort of music I’m straight there but that was never going to happen in Cambodia. I think one of the things I miss from home the most is just chilling out with my mates and drinking before we get a bit rowdy and hyper in Duchess, even if it does get a bit monotonous. I also just miss the bromance and camaraderie you get with a group of mates. I’ve had it on a few occasions for small periods but it’s definitely not the same.

The next morning we would depart from Serendipity at 10am for our first taste of white sands and clear blue seas. I for one was just looking forward to being lazy on the beach for a day and resting my weary limbs, or as I like to say in real life, ‘doing fuck all’.

More Temples Please

The alarm was set for 7.30am, what we thought was an early morning, but is nothing compared to the swathes of people that descend on Angkor Wat for the sunrise trying to catch that picture perfect moment. Without breakfast we met our tuk tuk driver for the day, Mr Cheat. We swiftly haggled him down to $15 and were on our way. Everywhere you go in South-East Asia the tuk tuks tend to differ in some respect, and in Cambodia tuk tuks are literally just mopeds with a carriage on the back, a slightly disconcerting but stupidly fun way to travel plus a great way to see the sights since you have 360 degree vision.

We arrived just before 9am and the heat was already beating down. As you traverse the steps and head down the walkway you can’t help but stare in awe as the temple stretches across the horizon, personally I was dazed into a reflectiveness on religion, tourists, architecture, and history. It’s hard to imagine looking at it teeming with tourists that it used to be a holy place, that it used to be peaceful, that it was built centuries ago by the human hand.

We wandered around Angkor Wat for around two hours, taking our time and soaking up the history and the incredible buildings, unlike anything I’ve seen before. It’s huge and there probably isn’t a single inch of it where painstaking effort wasn’t taken to carve the stone into a religious symbol. It’s interesting because there are symbols from both Hindu and Buddhism, the two most interesting religions in the world in my opinion, as the temple has been used to worship both in the past. The two religions share a lot of symbols and similarities; they have gone hand in hand in quite a few temples we’ve visited in our time in Asia but nothing like this. Having become increasingly interested in religion in my time in travel not as a follower but simply as someone who loves fantasy, their colourful history fascinates me, as well as observing the human behaviour surrounding it, Angkor Wat was truly stunning and stoked the fire in my imagination. I can see the job title religious historian in my future.

After Angkor Wat we checked out Bayon temple, this temple has a similar history to Angkor Wat in that it has also been used to worship both Buddhism and Hinduism in it’s history. The most standout formation of the Bayon temple are the colossal faces that stare out passively from the top of the towers, facing north, east, south, and west.

It saddens me in a way that these temples have been degraded to a tourist beehive and a money maker. Although admittedly that is a cynical way of looking at it. I much prefer to look at it as though they’re the sharing the temples with us for our pleasure and as an unselfish act. If I was a Monk in Cambodia I would be pissed off however that I’m denied the opportunity to worship at such an incredible place in peace, even if being pissed off is against their religion.

Next up we visited Baphuon temple, smaller than the others and not as impressive, but I’m sure it’s hard for the little guy being so close to Angkor and Bayon having to compete. You weren’t actually allowed inside, I assume there as an inside, but it was a pyramidical (I created this word, make sure to give me credit ;)) structure with for sets of stairs on each facing. We walked along an elevated stone walkway to reach the temple also which was impressive. Sadly by this point the weather was having it’s way with us. Southern Laos was an oven, Cambodia is the surface of the sun. At around 1pm we retired to the safety of the hotel for a shower, a cool down, and food.

I’d like to mention here, since I forgot earlier, a really memorable moment (the irony..) where we picked up my favourite souvenir so far. As we ate in the shaded tents lined up a few hundred metres from Angkor Wat we were constantly pestered by children to buy bracelets, postcards and magnets. We’ve been told not to buy from children because it encourages parents to keep them out of school, amongst other things. There was no temptation to go against this as obviously I believe these kids should be in school, and what they were selling was just crap. Christina was writing a postcard at the same time a little boy came over and tried to sell us one, she showed the him the one she was currently writing and apologised. After trying to sell us some anyway he started to enquire into what she was writing, showing a genuine interest. He then proceeded to draw a picture of Angkor Wat in his little notepad and gave us it for free. After some deliberation I decided to give him a dollar for it, thinking that it might be encouragement and a lesson that creating things can bring reward whereas selling rubbish won’t. I like to think of myself as a teacher and a guide obviously. However writing this I can’t help but feel he does this for all the tourists and rakes it in, I’m okay with that as it means he’s already learned the lesson I was trying to teach.

At the hotel we had a potato curry each, I ordered Khmer potato curry and Christina ordered a Burmese one (these could easily be the other way round, I can’t remember). Either way, Christina’s came with actual crinkle cut chips in the curry itself and mine didn’t so I was ultimately jealous. The rest of the day was spent exploring Siem Reap, checking out some markets, shops, Blue Pumpkin bakery, as well as having a few more beers on the ever lightened, ever slightly rowdy pub street.

In the morning we set to depart Siem Reap, we would have loved to stay but there were far too many temptations to waste money on incredible food and beer. In the grand scale of the trip we couldn’t condone it. We did however decide it would be a great place to visit again on a normal holiday, living in luxury for cheap and eating all the incredible food. I definitely can’t wait to return.

Cambodian Christening

We met our new Stray guide called Kit Kat for all of 20 minutes, he seemed like a really cool guy and from what I’ve been told since he seemed like he would have been an amazing guide. When we got to the border we had some guy who took care of the whole passport situation. All we had to do was pay the standard bogus overtime fee. I think we paid something like 20,000 kip which is $2.50. Once this was completed, it took longer than it looks here, we were told to follow our driver and we would depart in twenty minutes. What a sick joke. Our driver was a shifty looking guy with a slightly smirky mouth you simply couldn’t trust. We ended up waiting at least an hour and a half as he tried to cram as many people into the minibus as possible, even though five of the passengers had been sold tickets on the premise that they would only sell ten seats of the bus, therefore leaving more room for comfort. Instead we ended up with one more person than the bus is legally allowed to carry.

With the unrelenting heat somehow increasing as we entered Cambodia, it’s safe to say that none of the passengers were in a particularly jovial mood, instead we all came together and bonded over our hatred for the greedy bus driver. He gave us another reason to hate him when he told us that the current situation was only temporary and that when we arrived at the first stop we would unload five passengers. Unsurprisingly we picked up some different passengers, a long with a new driver. Good riddance, I say!

Never was the saying ‘better the devil you know’ more fitting in any situation. Our new driver was an emaciated middle aged Cambodian man who looked partial to drugs, or at least he was in his youth. As we squeezed back in to the van, the first two hours of our journey to Siem Reap went, as far as we were aware, without incident, however for the poor Frenchman sat in the front of the van it must have been a bit of a nightmare. We pulled into a petrol station for what we assumed was a toilet break and a chance to get some snacks when the Frenchman informed us that our bus driver had had a heavy night last night and was falling asleep at the wheel. The rest of the journey was spent trying to see his face in the rear-view mirror to make sure he was awake, or watching the road with clenched buttocks as he risked our lives to get ahead of a lorry. It was especially scary when we hit a tropical storm and he didn’t slow down one iota, even though he couldn’t see two feet ahead of the windscreen. Absolute madman!

We kissed the ground upon arrival at Siem Reap and met our tuk tuk driver, Songcheat. I don’t know if that’s how you actually spell it but he had Mr.Cheat painted on the side of his ride. I’m not sure that’s the most effective way to sell your services in such an industry… Especially in such a competitive place as Siem Reap. A quick note on how Siem Reap was different to any other place we had been before, amongst others, was that the tuk tuk drivers decorated their vehicles to try and differentiate themselves from the other. We saw a Batman one, and an Ironman one for example. No others stick out right now but well, it has been a while..

We arrived at our guesthouse, The Mandalay Inn, it was lovely and the staff were so charming and amazing. They even saved us three dollars when they told us that the most we should pay for a tuk tuk to Angkor Wat was fifteen dollars, this was after we’d already agreed eighteen but we haggled it down to fifteen in the morning.

It was 8pm by the time we’d got to our guesthouse and settled in. I’d barely eaten anything all day and was unsurprisingly feeling the hunger. We headed towards pub street, not sure what to expect. It was a lively street, literally bouncing from the music blaring out of the Bamboo Club, lined with bloody pubs if you didn’t know. There were a large variety of pubs, if you couldn’t find one you liked then you’ve got issues or obviously don’t like pubs and should stay away from pub street. Some played live music, some played club music, some played football on the big screen, as I say, a place for everyone. It was lit up like a carnival and there were drunk foreigners everywhere.

We headed down a side street and bumped into four Danish girls we’d met previously on the tour and were friends with. They were eating at a little Italian place and it seemed pretty cheap, especially after the shocking prices we’d encountered beforehand. Well, I don’t know if they were actually bad prices or it was just the difference from spending Kip to spending US Dollars, it took some getting used to. I ordered homemade spag bol and it was incredible and so filling! Afterwards we headed back to Mandalay Inn for an early night ahead of an early morning visit to Angkor Wat.

Been There Don Det

Travelling to Don Det I realised that all I really knew of our destination was that it was called the 4000 islands. I was therefore expecting something a lot more impressive than what my eyes came to witness. There are actually only three islands large enough to host human civilisation, the largest being 30 km long. The majority of the ‘islands’ are little bushes growing out of the water. Who really could be bothered to count all of those bushes? And who’s to say there isn’t only 3999 and they miscounted? I’m sure nobody in their right mind would care enough to verify.

As you know we weren’t particularly clued up on the island but had decided to hop off as we hadn’t been to an island yet, we just assumed it would be great! It turned out it was, just not in the way you’d expect. Personally my expectations were white beaches, clear turquoise water and palm trees. Don’t ask me why I suddenly fancied that the Mekong river would turn blue. What you actually got was a slightly grubby island with a heavy emphasis on drinks and drugs, with two streets worth of restaurants, bars, and guesthouses. It sounds slightly underwhelming but it had its charms.

It had one main beach, a disappointing 20 metres in length, with sand of a muddy golden shade, the streets were paths where the grass had been worn away to dusty sand by travellers walking up and down it all day, the restaurants and bars were wooden shacks lining the path on either side, as you walked down it you’d hear Friends playing in one restaurant, while a little further down there’d be a random film playing at Adam’s bar. People were content to settle down in one of these restaurants for hours at a time, occasionally ordering drinks and enjoying the entertainment on offer. You couldn’t help but notice as you walked along the island that the rules on drugs are very lax, if not non-existant. Everywhere you looked there would be an advertisement for a ‘happy shake, or a ‘happy cake’, meaning food or drink with either marijuana or mushrooms infused into the recipe, your preference. There was even a happy pizza with mushrooms.

We stayed there three nights instead of the one. The main activities, if you didn’t want to get high every night, were kayaking or cycling to see the waterfalls and the dolphins. We’d had a busy few days so for the first two on the island it was nice to settle in to the relaxed style of life and recharge our batteries. There were a lot of fruit juices and ice shakes consumed on these first two days as the heat was so oppressive. Our guide informed us that it had reached 40 degrees on one of the days! Any sort of movement brought forth a cascade of sweat onto your forehead, not to mention other places of the body. It was a drain of energy, the only life form on the island that seemed unaffected by the heat was the energetic little puppy at our guesthouse. He was a little black and white bundle of cuteness who was determined to nibble the whole island to smithereens, I spent many hours chilling in the guesthouse either playing with the little guy or just watching him scamp about as he lifted my spirits to ever soaring new heights.

On our last full day on the island we were ready to finally do some real exploring. We hired some bicycles, less than a pound for the day, and set forth. The bicycles we’re quite battered little things but compared to the bikes we rented in Ayuttaya they were like majestic steeds alongside a poor donkey. The journey was a simple one thankfully, we followed the river mostly straight down to a bridge where we crossed to another island. Here we had to take a break as we were already sweating like buffaloes, I was tempted to join them chilling in the water. While we had a break we attempted to play with a tiny Laos child in the shop but I’m not sure he enjoyed it, in fact the look of fear in his eyes would suggest anything but enjoyment.

With another twenty minutes cycling we made it to the entrance of the waterfalls. However, I wouldn’t really describe them as waterfalls. They were more like rapids, the different tributaries meeting each other with aggression churning out foamy white water. As I looked on I was wishing I could just ride the rapids like a water slide, one because the water would have been so nice on my overheated body, and two because it looked pretty damn fun. It’s a shame that if I tried the rivers would have left me a bruised, bloody, drowned mess.

After the waterfall we followed the signs to see the dolphins, sadly the signs were misplaced by a really lovely looking bar that were trying to coax visitors I believe. I was definitely tempted to stay there for a couple of hours and enjoy the lovely views of the beach behind the bar, as well as the lovely views of the HD football they had playing on the telly. Alas I purchased a big bottle of water and we left in the pursuit of Dolphins.

We eventually made it, the path ending in a narrow track sloping downhill leading onto a beach. At the bottleneck of the track there were two ‘restaurants’ situated on the left and the right, both awkwardly competing for business. As you approached they would both shout, remonstrate, and plea for you to enter their restaurant. Thankfully when we arrived only the restaurant on the right were on their game and therefore coaxed us over before we knew we had an option.

We walked onto the beach secluded by the restaurants and there were only 4 other people on the whole beach. I couldn’t resist, I whacked my shirt off and dived into the water. It was so refreshing and so required. After that we haggled down the price to see the Dolphin’s to a halfway reasonable one and set off. So I assumed you’d go out on the river in a boat and the dolphins would swim alongside you etc. What actually happened was the boat took you to a really wide peninsula in the river, sits there while you get barracked by the sun, and while the Dolphin’s come out of the water far enough for you to see the tips of their noses, which wasn’t easy as we were miles away. After getting fed up we ventured back to our guesthouse. The bike home was arduous, I was aching after the first leg of the journey, and the heat simply wasn’t letting up.

After a fitful sleep due to the heat (you’re going to understand it was incredibly hot by the end of this blog post okay?!) the Laos/Cambodia bordered awaited us. We had a frightful journey ahead.